I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
