"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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