he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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