Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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