Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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