never play flip cup with pint glasses
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
