Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
