I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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