I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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