so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
honey bunches of taint.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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