Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
