Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
