ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
