White coat. Heels.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!