Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.