he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
