Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
