so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
