I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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