We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
