GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
