just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
