ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I wear drunk well.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
