but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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