He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
