got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize