Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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