the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He kissed a someone with a penis
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
