i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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