I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Say something about gay babies.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize