The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
