I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
