well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
