Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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