dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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