He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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