just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
