I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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