Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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