Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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