dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
