So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
