you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
