Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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