Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
