I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
