she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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