So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
