I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
