my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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