Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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