isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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