Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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