It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
