I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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