i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
