Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize