Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
