I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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