I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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