Porn is love you can see.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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