Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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