she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
