i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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