Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
